Children and Family Success Stories
Steven's mother got a hold of me, because her son was in a very challenging situation. He had failed his classes for the school year, was displaying violent behavior at home, and was just got caught selling drugs at school. The decision for whether he would be kicked out of school, thrown in jail, or both was not yet decided. I went into the situation explaining to Steven that I was not here to come down on him or judge him, but to understand what is going on, and be in his corner. He explained to me the many challenges at home, focus issues at school, and his constant anxiety that he felt only drugs seems to help him with. I shared with him my battles when I was a kid, and he began to trust me, and agreed to let me coach him.
In the months that followed, I taught Steven how to ground himself, handle his anxiety, express his anger in healthy ways, and improve his focus and self esteem. During that time, the school was informed that he had a coach, and was dedicated to working on himself. The school decided on leniency, and to offer him a chance to take summer courses, and if he did well he would be readmitted into school for the fall term. He worked hard on the training I gave him, stayed clean from drugs, and took the summer classes.
I never gave him a hard time about the assignments or bothered him much, but would just be there to support him and encourage him. I taught him marital arts, street smarts, and how to find peace within. He learn quickly how to focus better, and we continued our work on his self esteem and issues at home.
He came back one day from summer school with a smile on face sharing that he got all As and he will back at school in a few weeks. Steven had an incredible imagination for writing, and shared with me that after being clean for so many months and able to focus that he finally got back in to writing and was finishing a story he started a long time ago.
Michael was one of my younger clients at age 6 who was going through some really extreme issues at home and at school. He was diagnosed with ADHD, but his behavior was getting extremely violent. The focus issues at school were the least of the concerns as his parents were routinely getting calls that he was hitting other students. They would often have to come and get him as he was getting into trouble a lot due to his impulsivity. At home it was far far worse. Michael would trash the house, manipulate his parents, and even throw dangerous objects like cups and silverware. I came in to the situation as his playmate and in a non threatening way.
I shared with him my own challenges as a kid, and told that he is not a bad kid or evil as he thought he was. He quickly bonded with me, and I continued to share with him different ways to get energy out, deal with anxiety, and express anger in a healthy way.
He was still being somewhat reserved with me for the first few weeks until one day I came into a situation where he was having a really bad day. He exploded at his parents, trashed the house, and was getting physical. As a trained marital artist I safely let him release his anger while quickly gaining control of the situation.
After he realized that he could not control me and that I remained calm, peaceful, and loving, then he started to really break down emotionally, and start crying a lot. I explained to him that we love him and are there for him, but if he continues to be violent then it is not safe for his parents or himself, and that serious changes would have to be made. I explained to him that I had made those bad choices when I was younger, and was taken away from my family for awhile.
Michael and his parents had a real break through that day as his parents started to learn the inner mastery I was teaching them on how to handle him, and he learned that he is making choices that his parents can not protect him from.
Things from that point on got much better, and Michael and his parents really put into action the skills, techniques, and tools I gave them. Michael found healthy ways to express his anger, and began to do better socially and at school with friends. At home he was way more respectful, and incidents like that day were a thing in the past.
With his behavior under control and things going better at school, Michael started to shine as a creative builder of things out of legos, clay, and anything at all. He also started to really excel in athletics, and felt really good about himself
Ashley's parents found me on the internet, and were pretty concerned about their daughters emotional state, and also her complete giving up in school. Ashley was diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression. One of the things I noticed right away about her was that she was incredibly smart and very intellectually gifted.
She opened up to me about her issues at school, being bullied by other girls cause she didn't fit in, her anxiety issues, and how depressed she was. I shared with her that I was bullied at her age, and my own self hatred that I had at that time. This intrigued her as she wasn't expecting me to be able to relate to her so easily. She was very much into abstract thinking, and so I wowed her with some philosophic thoughts that seemed to really amuse her. She was open to me helping her overcome her challenges, and I became her "life teacher" as she used to call me.
The road for her was very challenging as she had many issues compounded into one, but she was a trooper as I taught her how master her fear, and balance her emotions. I trained her in martial arts, showed her how to ground herself, and helped her develop a much higher level of self esteem. Her focus issues started to resolve themselves in time, and her performance at school and social situations improved dramatically.
She had a knack for writing, and with this new found mastery she was able to finish her stories, win awards for her work, gain a following, and was even paid for her writing. Ashley was also one of the best martial art students I had as her sensitivity was extraordinarily high, and I can only think this was linked to her amazing knack to write such imaginative, but yet emotionally realistic creative fictions.
Tony was diagnosed ADHD, and was having quite the trouble at school. He was also very emotionally distraught over various issues including a divorce, being bullied at school, and the issues going on in the world.
Tony was a highly emotionally sensitive and aware child. He has the heart of the world, and feels people very deeply. Unfortunately, this sensitivity led him in a dark place as he was feeling depressed and even suicidal.
His mom got a hold of me, and I came into the situation simply sharing my journey with emotional sensitivity and also expressing my passion for creativity. Tony has an incredible innovating creativity that is like Da Vinci. He would make drawings, and sketches, and build things constantly. I noted his talents, related with his struggles, and showed him a few quick things to help him deal with the overwhelm. He was intrigued and wanted me to teach him more.
I worked with Tony for some time and showed him how to ground and balance his emotions. This was very challenging for him as his sensitivity to others made this a very arduous task . I invented numerous ways to keep him engaged and make it fun and playful. over time he started to really find peace, and become more balanced emotionally.
His focus improved dramatically, and he started to do much better in school. His self confidence got a lot stronger, and he was finding better friends to hang with. I taught him how to handle other people's emotions, and it really helped him to navigate social dynamics that used to completely shut him down.
One of the most magical things I got to witness in our work together was him being able to take a concept from idea, design, drawings, modeling, and then to full creation. It was a game he created with figures he designed and built. He fully thought out the rules, how it would work, and how it could even be an app one day. It was model fully designed, not too complex, but It was the first creative idea he had that he was able to completely follow through with and create into reality. I always see him in my mind as a little Leonardo.
Emily was having a real hard time socially in school, and also with school performance. She had extreme social anxiety along with ADD, and was constantly being bullied and tormented by her peers as she didn't know what to say or how to act at certain times. She had developed a stutter that led to the bullying getting really out of control. It got so bad that her "friends" played some very dirty pranks on her that led her to leaving school and her after school activities for quite a while.
Emily's parents got a hold me hoping that I could help her as she was falling into a deep depression. I met with her, and shared with her that I know some girls her age that have gone through similar issues. I shared with her my story, and offered to get her touch with my one of my clients. I also noticed that Emily had a drum at her house, and shared with her that I love drumming. I grabbed the drum from my car that I always have with me for situations like this, and we jammed together. I noted to her that she has incredible timing and natural rhythm.
She really enjoyed it, and wanted me to teach her how to overcome her challenges. In the months to follow, I helped her to ground her self, and really let go of the debilitating anxiety that was linked to her stutter and her focus issues. She started to really be able to focus better, but more importantly she was really feeling much better about herself. Our drumming sessions helped her to get out her anger towards her bullying, decompress from her anxiety, but also really appreciate how good of a drummer she actually was.
I coached her on many of the different ways to handle social dynamics, and we would play role them back and forth. I helped her train her body to be relaxed during high stress social events, and taught her a couple self defense moves as well.
Not only did Emily improve at school and did her stutter lessen, but she finally with grace and composure stood up to her bullies in a peaceful and tactful way that enabled her to gain a tremendous amount of self respect. Several of the other students who were being bullied by the same crowd had noticed what she did, and she found herself surrounded with new friends that were very much like her.
The most rewarding part was watching Emily light up when she would play the drums, and then when her parents would call me to say that we have to meet earlier because she was having a bunch of her new friends over later. .
Contact Coach Tom for a plan of action to help your child overcome ADHD